In Loving Memory

This evening my family was informed that a good family friend has passed away. She has been fighting stomach cancer, which spread to her Liver. I'm just glad their family was blessed enough to get to spend one more Christmas with her.

What makes this harder for me is that just a little over a year ago her daughter, Lindsey, passed away. I grew up with Lindsey my whole life and became good friends as the years went by and especially as we carpooled to High School together. She was very friendly, musical, artistic, and athletic so we shared a lot of similar interests. She happened to pass away while serving her mission in England. She was out running with her companion and dropped dead. The autopsy found no cause of death. My heart goes out to the Spjute family. Both women were truly amazing people and great examples of service.

Times like these make me pause to reflect on my own life. Why was I not the one to die? What is it that I haven't done yet that I'm supposed to do? Will I ever measure up to anything close to these amazing people? Today while sitting in class a girl speaking asked about our purpose here in life. My one sister leaned over to me jokingly and said something along the lines of "good question." I responded to my sister's comment saying, "I seriously don't even know what the point is for me." We brushed the comment aside, but I was left really thinking about it and seriously meant what I said. I guess I find my life kind of in limbo right now and like my life is never really going to make a difference like the two women mentioned above. Sure I'm a granddaughter, daughter, sister, cousin, niece, and friend. But in all honesty those positions can easily be replaced with the many other women in my life. If I were to pass on I can honestly and sincerely say that after the initial shock and mourning were over, life would go on without me without much second thought.

Ok, so that paragraph took a turn and it sounds like I'm suicidal. Rest assured that I am NOT. I'm just trying to make a point that I feel like the Spjute women had so much here on Earth with so many family members relying on them. She had 5 daughters and 1 son, with many grandchildren she could have lived for to help teach and love. I, myself, don't have that to offer for anyone at this time, nor do I feel it in the near future. I realize the Spjute women are probably busy and have work to do past this life at this time. I just wish for the remaining Spjute family that it could have turned out differently. I know our will isn't the same as God's will, but it doesn't make it any easier to accept sometimes.

Anyway, who knows when your time is gonna come up to leave this world. It's a good reminder for me to make every day I'm blessed with count. I've got a lot of work to do!!!